The finale’s (firnarley) results!
Oh goodness, the beginning of this is even more dramatic than the beginning of the last episode.
I wonder if I get any of my predictions for the encore’s right, haha!
The group dance, everybody’s back! Of course with the final six posing at the end. Jakob and Fern are both giving me ‘come hither’ looks with their lined eyes.
The most random stars are performing tonight, I shall probably only watch Mary J. Blige because I find her all kinds of awesome.
And we FINALLY get our friggin choreographers back on the panel. First, Lil’C, do you know how much I MISSED this dude this season. I was looking forward to mocking his Lil’isms and then the joke’s on me since I’m an entire season late!
And then my Tasty Oreo! Fun! Debbie Allen is on as well, who I don’t recall seeing all season, btw. And of course the mandatory Shankers, Mary and Nigel.
The cast off choreographers at least got good seats.
Oh, for the record, I’m rooting for Kathryn, Jakob, Ellenore and Ashleigh, so nearly everybody, which is good because last season I only loved one of the finalists (Brandon) and was ‘ok/meh’ about another (Jeanine), the other two, I would have been whooping some serious ass. I don’t feel in the ass whooping mood today though, so I’m good. I guess my care-meter has gone kablooey this season.
Lil’ C is picking his routine. Oh, he picked a dance from the super super first episode that didn’t even count, leave it to him. He chose the hip hop routine done by Kevin, Russell and Legacy. Aww I love this song, and I love these men, all if well in the world. HOLD ON, I see Tabitha in the audience but where the hell is Napoleon! It all feels so empty now. I don’t recall ever seeing them apart! Who is Tabitha going to snuggle up against?
Adam gets to pick now. He’s picking a Sonya dance. The Ellenore and Jakob one, I got one right! DUH. EPIC. It is still epic. Damn I love this dance; it needs to be in the Sonya hall of fame (nearly all of her routines are!).
Ok now Nigel gets to pick. He’s shouting out to his Tap dancers so, Philip, Pita (Peter) and Beeanker (Bianca) are tapping. I’m still bitter about what they did to these poor people. I shall refrain from my little conspiracy theory but you all know it’s true.
Geebus, Beeanker has some crazy long limbs and a not so long midriff. Creepy.
Mary wants to see, oh lord. She wants an Ashleigh/ Fern Jive. NO the Touch & Go song, I love that song! WOO, now THAT, my sytycd friends, is a Jive. Finally a deserving Jive on this friggin show. I should make a list of the suckiest ballroom dance styles presented on this show and why.
1. The Quickstep, no contest. But that’s on pretty much every show that doesn’t have two pros. First of all it’s hard to learn/do. And it’s not really that exciting when not done perfectly, heck even when done perfectly it likely won't be exciting.
2. The Paso doble, it’s hard to do, difficult to get the right emotions and movements, though it’s more exciting than the quickstep when done even semi right.
3. The Waltz (other than the Viennese) it’s, again, hard, not meant to be exciting (paso doble-wise, I mean) but instead beautiful. The fact that it can be gorgeous often saves it though. And the lifts are often gorgeous.
4. The Jive, the leg action is very difficult, I can imagine and you just need to have that bounce.
5. The Samba, I’m pretty sure the Samba is the hardest Latin American dance so, yeah. Them Samba rolls can be deadly.
The chachacha seems to be going rather well around here, if you can exude even the teensiest bit of class you may be able to handle the Foxtrot, which is the epic dance for a lady and a gentleman only. The Tango seems to go well here, too, only watch out for the Argentine Tango, you might kick each other in the nads a few times too often. The Rumba, if you’re not a fearful sexless person then I think if you get the sex appeal and flow down you’ll be ok.
I like my top five of ‘failed ballroom dances on sytycd’, though the Samba isn’t so much failed as just hard.
Anyways, focus, back on track, here! I have this feeling that I failed miserably at the encore dances.
Nigel gets to pick another one. Yay, Kathryn and Jakob! Gorgeous!
Tasty Oreo, pick your business. He picked Bollywood by Nathan and Mollee. Heh, Bollywood, I totally called that.
The tv can’t hear Catttttt!! Wait! Snd the finalists were LATE coming on the stage. Oh wait Cat didn’t have her mic. Wait, where’s the other half of the finalists!? It’s only Jakob, Kathryn and Ellenore? Oh now there are the others, Russell did something with his leg and needs help walking. It sounds like Nigel is laughing at him in the background, bastard. Cat is now reading the results. Who is in 6th place? Fern. *snort* But Fern can’t go to Cat since he’s the only thing holding Russell up.
Who the hell is Adam Lambert *waits for Idol/popstars/regular fan people to throw rocks* No seriously though, I’ve heard his name before but who the hell is he?
Now we get a little recap of the journey we’ve had.
Now, more results. The 5th place is for, Ashleigh, hmmm. I'm quite neutral on that, I wouldn't have minded if she had gotten a higher spot though.
Adam gets to pick another routine. The Ellenore/Legacy Contemporary, Mr. and Mrs. Smith thingy. Nice! I forgot about that one (yes, yes, how could I?).
Debbie finally gets to pick one. Is she going to be the Waltz picker? She was last time. Oh she picked a Noelle and Russell frog dance. So instead of them dancing it… they’re showing the tape of the first time they did it, haha, what else can you do? Meh, I still don’t like Noelle too much. Beats Mollee though. Man, I’m not getting any of these encore dances right.
More results! The dancer in 4th place is Ellenore…. Well that’s surprising! I had her pegged for the top two since day one.
Lil’C’s choice again. ‘An orgy of majestic contemporary artistry’ Well Tyce looks pleased so I guess it’s one of his, dear God don’t let it be the bird routine, that was his, right? That was horrible. Oh he picked another non counting pre show routine, of the contemporaries. Ariana, Nathan, Channing and Jakob. Non counting but still beautiful! Dude I got almost all of the encore dances right last season what’s wrong with me?
Mary’s pick now. Russell and Kathryn doing hiphop, dude, I HATED that routine. Well the choreography. They’re showing a tape again.
Only one more judges’ pick left, I wonder what.
Haha, I tried to fast forward through Mary J. Blige because I just want to see that last encore routine but my little player won’t let me! It was cute and funny at first but now it’s just pissing me off.
Nigel gets the last pick, of course. He’s doing another non counting dance, the group routine from the first episode. That dance was awesome though, and there has to be a group dance in the encores.
Well I officially failed at predicting the encore dances.
More results. Blah.
3rd place is, Kathryn. Awwww I don’t like that.
I’ll betcha five bucks that Russell wins the entire thing.
Holy crap the stage scared the crap out of me, it’s a giant SHOE! It’s FUCKING JENNIFER LOPEZ of course! And I CAN’T FAST FORWARD, CRAPPPP. I can’t handle 3 minutes of lip synching.
True torture = J-Lo lip synching a sucky song without the ability to fast forward and all this time I’m thinking she’s seriously screwing up the pronunciation of Louis Vuitton, but she’s apparently really saying Louboutin. I just need to go youtube this before I go any further. Well call me crazy, but she’s still pronouncing whatever she’s trying to say wrong, I mean, I’m sure the designer pronounces it this way, if not, HA.
Anywayssss, back to the point.
Russell and Jakob. Hmpf. I wanted it to be Ellenore/Kathryn and Jakob. Nigel says that the true winners are ‘this show, dance and A Merry Kah!’ Uhm, random, no the winner on this show is the person that got the most votes, stop talking.
Heh, they just showed a tiny piece of an intro I’m sure I’ve never seen before.
You know, something just popped into my head, if Sonya got to pick a favourite routine she totally would have picked the bird routine, that or that stupid CanCan! Hahaha!
Ok back to business.
Russell is the winner…. But why? He ripped off his shirt and dropped to the floor. Man, I’m so sad Noelle had to ruin him for me, I totally had the dance hots for him in the beginning of the show.
So, I guess Jakob isn’t getting some money either? Both Jakob and Brandon could out dance Katee, what’s the deal? Yes I am bitter and I shall remain bitter! The second season in a row I’m not getting my way. Four out of six I liked and still one of the two managed to slip trough! Haha!
Oh well, congratulations to Russell! And to me for FINALLY finishing this show.
Now where's my five bucks?
