Lord Jesus Christ, hit by car. No joke.

Lord Jesus Christ got hit by a car.
I lie to you not, the dude was strolling 'round Northampton when a car came out of nowhere and hit him.
What the fuck, you say? (because what the hell would be too ironic)
Nope nope, totally true (I swear to God would also be too much).

This random dude apparently changed his name from God knows what to Lord Jesus Christ. How stuck up can one be? "Oh gosh, what shall I change my name to? 'Bob? Marty? Joe? Lord Jesus Christ?' Yes, that's it!"

And this guy is 50 years old. How is this shit still funny at 50?
My guess is he changed his name as a stupid adolescent and then had zero cash flow to change it back.
Why was this even allowed? Is this the same person that lets through parents with their new baybees who have dumb names like 'Nevaeh(how appropriate), Madison, McKaden, Emmaleigh' and other monstrosities (including boys names on girls, not cute, y'all)?
Whoever it was should be fired if only for pure blasphemy.

I advise all to check out the comments in that link. My favorite one so far

Will keeping the victim in my prayers have any effect, or is it basically like spamming him?

only said person did overdo it with the amount of stupid jokes in one post.

Happy reading, y'all!

She smiles in her sleep when I say her name, right.

So I was videoskyping with Cynthia (Chicken Dijon) and the poor woman was so sleepy.
After five minutes or so of silence, I thought I'd pop up the screen and check out what she was up to.
I see this


So I thought to gently wake her up
"Cynthia...?"

^ you see that smile? She better not be dreaming sexy things about me or Imma open a can of whoopass.

"Wake upppp"


"CYNTHIAAA!!!"


Busted!


I also thought it was fair to show people what I looked like at the time. You may all revel in my current 2am hottnezz.

Sexy, right?

SYTYCD Fails at life and guess what, I'm still gonna watch!

So You think You Can Dance is changing its set up.
If I understood everything correctly, we will start out with 12 new dancers. Who will rotate every week (every week with one less, of course) with twelve of our "allstars".
The "allstars" are.

Twitch from season 4.
He will be representing: Hip Hop / Popping / Locking / Krump
I don't really have much to say about him, ha.

Comfort Fedoke from season 4.
She will be representing: Hip Hop / Krump / Popping / Locking (why are they even putting this in a different order than Twitch's? Odd). Comfort is a funny girl, if nothing else the intros will probably have me rolling.

Courtney Galiano from season 4. Ok obviously season 4 was the best season EVUR (or as I like to call it, the shizznit), look at this.
She will be representing: Jazz / Broadway / Cultural / Disco / Contemporary
Wait. Cultural, what does this mean? Since when does Courtney know African Jazz or Bollywood? and Disco? What?! She's not a ballroom dancer, what are you even talking about?

Anya Garnis from season 3.
She will be representing: Ballroom Standard / Ballroom Latin. Well we all know I love me some Anya dancing ballroom so this will certainly be a plus.

Lauren Gottlieb. Season 3, she will be representing: Jazz / Hip Hop / Contemporary / Broadway. Hip Hop? (Bahahah cue a Dmitry (was it him?) 'Heep hop')

Neil Haskell, season 3.
Who will be representing: Jazz / Contemporary / Broadway / Disco / Cultural.
Bahhhhh, I hate Neil. He has the personality of a stick insect. BAH! And the girls go willlldd... whatever, my toilet seat has a better personality.

Allison Holker from season 2,
she will be representing: Jazz / Contemporary / Broadway / Disco / Cultural.
It will be interesting to see if she has grown in her dancing. I recall her to be quite all over the place (in her solos at least).
And WHY are they lumping the Contemporary people in with Jazz, Cultural and Broadway(and vice versa)? It is not all the same, people. Bah.

Mark Kanemura, season 4.
He will be representing (guess!) Jazz / Contemporary / Broadway / Cultural
Well I'm sure there will be a shitload of people voting for him. A lot of people like him! I just don't happen to be one of them. Though I do prefer him to his buddy Kupono "Porno".

Pasha Kovalev- NOMNOMNOMMYMAN *ahem* I mean. From season 3.
He will be representing: Ballroom Standard / Ballroom Latin. Mmmm, Pasha dancing the chachacha... or the Rumba, be still, my heart, by still. Well, it's pretty damn clear where I stand on the subject of <3PASHA<3 right? Right.

Kathryn McCormick, season 6.
She will be representing, surprise: Jazz / Contemporary / Broadway / Cultural
Who's surprised? Who? Who?!
I don't dislike her. But I think my eyes recently opened and I realized she's not really that interesting. I guess she and Neil will be perfect partners if you're worried about their personalities outshining their little protégés.

Ade Obayomi, season 5.
He will be representing: Contemporary / Jazz / Cultural / Broadway.
Lets all sit around and gasp, my dear friends. "Oh my God, a contemporary person automatically lumped in with Jazz, Cultural and Broadway and.... Ricky Martin is GAY!!!" Yeah. Exactly. I can't wait to see Ade's nommy chest though. Twas quite the edible feature.

Dominic Sandoval from season 3.
He will be representing: Hip Hop / Breaking
Even though a lot of people think he's annoying, I love him. I just hope he's over molesting Cat by now. And over whatever he did with his hair the few times we saw him after his season.

We're done? we're done. That was our little group. Sadly, I will now be forced to watch for PASHAAA!1!11! <333

Nine Lovely Ladies with BIG Eyes!

Well I just thought it was about time to start blogging again. I’ve been thinking this for a while now. I’m not following Dancing with the Stars at the moment, so that idea is out. So You Think You Can Dance is probably not going to work next season as they screwed it up and are trying to turn it into Dancing with the Stars, only with professional dancers. Idiots. Oh well. I was watching Equilibrium (not so much watching as ‘the people around me were watching it’)
And noticed that Emily Watson has ‘holy crap, big eyes!!!’ So I thought ‘why not? Lets blog about it!’

So here I am. I’ve found nine ladies that I find appropriate for this little blog of mine.

Of course, the already mentioned, Emily Watson.

Gorgeous woman, BIG EYES. Of course in the movie I think she was supposed to be portraying some epic batshitcrazy, so she had the crazy eyes on for a nice amount. For some reason I think women with ‘the crayzee I’s’ are awesome. So this totally worked for me.

Next up, Zooey Deschanel

Honestly, how cute is she? I loooooove this girl. After I realized she and Emily Deschanel weren’t the same person (d’oh!) I totally wondered why Emily had the big eyes in movie X but not in Bones. Confused, I was! How was I supposed to know she had a sister that looked just like her! (Though sadly, not as well named, Zooey? What the hell, think you stuffed enough vowels in there, moms and pops Deschanel? Damn, buy a consonant already.)

Nora-Jane Noone

Wooot! This girl, you can’t even deny it, her eyes are gianormous, have you ever seen that much white in somebody’s eyeballs? Didn’t think so. Funny enough they don’t look odd on her, it gives her a nice charm (or at least I think so). She can do the epic puppydog eyes and the crazy eyes!

Next up, Audrey Tautou!

Our first doe eyed beauty with brown eyes. They be big! They might not look as big as she doesn’t have the sparkly blue’s, but they are open and ready to see the world. You’ll see as she acts, that they really stand out (and how gorgeous is she, seriously now!).

Next up, Christina Ricci,
Waaah!

ok that was mean.

Slim face, big eyes, they surely stand out. Also with the brown eyed crowd, but nobody can deny that her eyes are big. She’s like a big fat DUH on this list. Though what’s up with her eye makeup? I can’t approve that. I don’t know why, I don’t like it.


Mena Suvari

it’s not really that her eyes are really that big, I think. It’s more that her face is quite small. It doesn’t look weird though, so that’s a plus. And we’re back into the bloooo I’s.

Who is next, ah, dear Amanda Seyfried.

Little innocent Sarah in Big Love could certainly give us a big pout, puppy dog eyes and we immediately bought her innocent act. She can also pout just a tad bit differently and the look is now ‘sex kitten’ but her hair has to be down for that to happen because in this picture I think she kind of resembles a penis with ears, anime eyes and Angelina Jolie’s lips. Like a celebrity Mr. Potato Head only different. I can’t say anything else about her though, I just saw her get nakey with Julianne Moore and it has traumatized me for life and beyond. Not hot (I don’t mind the fact that they’re both women, but she’s half her age, dude, not sexy, at all.)

Last but certainly not least of them all is Allison Harvard.

I don’t think anybody really knows who she is but she was the runner up (or second runner up, or something else… whatever, she got pretty far) in America’s Next Top Model in one of the gazillion cycles that they had. (I sometimes wonder if Tyra looked up the average amount of cycles a woman has in her life and then decided that that number is how many seasons of this damn show she was going to have.)
Miss Allison was always complimented on her big eyes. She looked like an anime doll, deer in headlights, whatever you can come up with. I’m pretty sure that she has the biggest eyes of the crew. Though Nora-Jane Noone may give her a run for her money.
Well this was the end of my little blog post for today.
Maybe I shall find something fun to write about soon.