World Peace or Whirled Peas?

So I went through a few of my old things and came across an essay I wrote for my English class when I was about 15 years old I think. Oh my goodness, oh the hilarity. I know that you’re supposed to think that if you read things of yourself from years back (and I probably will laugh my butt off at my blog in five years) but HA. At least all of my words were spelled correct and my grammar wasn’t even as horrible as I would have thought. So here I have a darling little essay that I had to write within 45 minutes or so (I think) for English class. And I did it about world peace (or whirled peas, whatever floats your boat). Yes. Yes I wrote about world peace. I apparently was a pageant queen at 15 years old. Either that or I just watched a stupid movie about a) pageants, b) world peace or c) something with a super high moral message (think Crash, great movie but it makes your brain implode) because I was rocking the “I’m so grown” talk there.
Well here it is; my little piece of art. I added some lovely sarcastic comments (bolded so you can tell my sarcastic comments from my trying to save the world) because I couldn’t NOT mock myself(just a few though, small essay after all). Hello, mocking your former self is the sole reason that... well some people do some things, I don’t know, don’t ask me.

Ah world peace [*Snort*]. We hear it all the time on tv, big hopes and dreams for the future. Yet we also hear that it is impossible. Is it really? Some think that if we, as a world, work together, we can make world peace a reality [Oh man, I feel like Sandra Bullock during the question round.].
There are a lot of different reasons that people will go to war but there’s a solution for every single one of them. One of the most important one is communication. Lots of arguments start over a communication problem. What can solve this is better education, better equipment for the lesser fortunate countries. Another thing that is a big problem is food, lack of it often leads to riots.
If we educate people about growing their own food and help them by paying fair prices for products, they wouldn’t have to suffer. [Right Sherlock, nobody knew that yet.]
If we want a peaceful planet we have to work together to make that happen. We have to stop thinking solely about ourselves and start thinking and caring about others.
This isn’t just the government of the United Nations[This is a very random combination of organisations] that have to work to make this happen. The mentality of every single person on this planet has got to change. We need to stop arguing about petty things and start thinking about the bigger picture. It does pay off to be kind or to be ‘the bigger person’. One act of kindness can mean a lot, especially in a troublesome situation.
If we can’t all learn to play nice, there will always be some sort of trouble lurking around the corner. If it is trouble involving entire countries or a neighbourhood battle, it won’t help ‘the bigger picture’. If we can’t come to an agreement about this, we will forever see the pictures in the paper of people that have died in a war somewhere, military people, civilians and even children [What?]. We need to look at ourselves and ask if we really want that.

All the laughing aside, come on, how cute was I? Seriously now, this is adorable.

Being Butthurt

Ok so before you all go crazy thinking ‘oh my word, she’s touching the sensitive subject of coitus of the butt!’ no, I am not talking about any pain in your rear that may occur after that type of sexual practice. So be relieved, or not, whatever floats your boat.

What I am talking about is being upset about something asinine (see what I did there?) and then getting extremely pissy at whoever created the epic upset. I also like the way that the Urban Dictionary put it

An inappropriately strong negative emotional response from a perceived personal insult. Characterized by strong feelings of shame. Frequently associated with a cessation of communication and overt hostility towards the "aggressor."

I’ve encountered three forms of butthurt so far.
The Vocal Type: they will hound you and let you know that they are mad at you for whatever dumb reason. In my opinion, the best kind.

The Silent Type they will not tell you that they’re mad in any other way than the fact that they are not talking to you. You now have no idea why this person is mad and why they are being so hostile. If the person does it right they’re able to be subtle enough to be able to deny any signs of butthurt when you ask about it. This form annoys most people the most.

And then we have the type that I like to call The Dumbass Type. I like to call it this simply for the pun.
These types stay butthurt for the longest period of time. They will not tell you in any way that they are in fact experiencing rectal unpleasantness but they will tell everybody else, whether they want to hear about it or not. If they do it right (which they rarely do) you will not hear about this and blissfully unaware or the butthurt you’ve caused. But usually things will get back to you, sometimes because they’re dumb and sometimes because you have mutual friends that mock the butthurt and are nice enough to inform you.

What I have to say about all of this is, really? Really? Unless you’re below the age of 14 you should not be doing this, yo. It is very unattractive. Grow up, put on your big girl panties (with soft fluffy padding if the pain is so unbearable) and get on with your life because nobody cares.

If you really truly feel slighted I suggest that you fill out this form. Send it in to whoever caused the butthurt and this person will respond back to you in 6-8 weeks, maybe. There is a chance that you will realize while filling it in, that worrying about this, is a serious waste of your time. But if you send it in anyway the person who caused your butthurt will probably get a good laugh out of it all.



But in the end, if you still decide to be butthurt about mundane things, well, when you see my face, I hope it gives you hell. : )