Being Butthurt

Ok so before you all go crazy thinking ‘oh my word, she’s touching the sensitive subject of coitus of the butt!’ no, I am not talking about any pain in your rear that may occur after that type of sexual practice. So be relieved, or not, whatever floats your boat.

What I am talking about is being upset about something asinine (see what I did there?) and then getting extremely pissy at whoever created the epic upset. I also like the way that the Urban Dictionary put it

An inappropriately strong negative emotional response from a perceived personal insult. Characterized by strong feelings of shame. Frequently associated with a cessation of communication and overt hostility towards the "aggressor."

I’ve encountered three forms of butthurt so far.
The Vocal Type: they will hound you and let you know that they are mad at you for whatever dumb reason. In my opinion, the best kind.

The Silent Type they will not tell you that they’re mad in any other way than the fact that they are not talking to you. You now have no idea why this person is mad and why they are being so hostile. If the person does it right they’re able to be subtle enough to be able to deny any signs of butthurt when you ask about it. This form annoys most people the most.

And then we have the type that I like to call The Dumbass Type. I like to call it this simply for the pun.
These types stay butthurt for the longest period of time. They will not tell you in any way that they are in fact experiencing rectal unpleasantness but they will tell everybody else, whether they want to hear about it or not. If they do it right (which they rarely do) you will not hear about this and blissfully unaware or the butthurt you’ve caused. But usually things will get back to you, sometimes because they’re dumb and sometimes because you have mutual friends that mock the butthurt and are nice enough to inform you.

What I have to say about all of this is, really? Really? Unless you’re below the age of 14 you should not be doing this, yo. It is very unattractive. Grow up, put on your big girl panties (with soft fluffy padding if the pain is so unbearable) and get on with your life because nobody cares.

If you really truly feel slighted I suggest that you fill out this form. Send it in to whoever caused the butthurt and this person will respond back to you in 6-8 weeks, maybe. There is a chance that you will realize while filling it in, that worrying about this, is a serious waste of your time. But if you send it in anyway the person who caused your butthurt will probably get a good laugh out of it all.



But in the end, if you still decide to be butthurt about mundane things, well, when you see my face, I hope it gives you hell. : )