DWTS Week 6!

Woohoo folks, this will be my First review of Dancing with the Stars. Lets see if I’ll keep it up, shall we? Heck I’ll even do one on so you think you can dance, you know, after I watch it. Pretty midseason but who cares!

Mýa and Dmitry (one of my favourite couples!), they had the Jitterbug this week, always an interesting dance to see with the lifts and fast footwork.
We get reminded of their hot Argentine Tango, loved that.
It starts out with her cleaning and him trying to seduce her to dance with her; she rejects him twice before he drags her onto the dance floor.
Nice little Jivelike flicks going on. The Lindyhop ‘toiletpaper move’ (Thank you, Tony Dovolani). An awkward lift where he kicks his leg out between her legs as she goes up.
Hmmm, judging time, Len is first. Len did not like the gimmicks, it took Dmitry way too long to get her to dance with him according to Len. Bruno disagrees (surprise!) and says she has perfect timing (it was like watching one person dancing). Carrie Ann disagrees with Bruno, Bruno calls Carrie Ann something I can’t define and Carrie Ann adjusts her bra and will beat Bruno up later in the judges’ locker room. She thinks it was too soft, good, but less than what she expected.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 8, Len: 7, Bruno: 9

Melissa and Mark get the Waltz. What is up with Mark’s hair?! Why is he growing it out to look like a crazy ape shat on his head? What is he trying to prove here? Melissa isn’t getting it so Mark brings in his mom, who has an awesome British accent and is totally badass. Now, please, Shirley, fix your sons hair, both on his head and on his face, it looks like he rolled around in dirt. He cleaned up for the Waltz. She’s not as fluid as one would want from a Waltz. They did something at the end that… I could not see because some idiot thought it’d be nice to film from above.
Bruno doesn’t like it at all, Carrie Ann commends her on keeping her ‘puppies’ (Read: @@) up, like Marks mom told her to. Len is being really nice and says he likes a lot of things and says that the others are being harsh….say what? Says YOU, grumpy old man.
Tom tells us that our special guest tomorrow is Taylor Swift, oh happy day. (he also says that she won’t be interrupted this time *SNERK* )
Scores: Carrie Ann: 7, Len: 7 and Bruno: 6. Poor Melissa looks like she’s going to cry.

Mark and Lacey up next with the Jitterbug. Last week they danced the Paso Doble (you know, Matador vs. Cape) and Mark tells Lacey that dancing the Paso with her made him horny (and then he made bull horns with his fingers and poked Lacey with them) Get it?! Bull, Cape, Matador, Horny! Lacey and I thought it was funny.
Nice active start, Lacey has kitten ears on. Really cute leg slide happens and Mark does a few cool flips. Lacey carries Mark around the floor. They’re not totally in sync but doing really good. Carrie Ann does one of her little happy dances/songs, Len fears it. Len loved it! Bruno liked it a lot but Mark lost the timing a bit. Len and Bruno have a teensy tiff.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 9, Len: 9, Bruno: 8.

Aaron and Karina with the Waltz. Mannnnn I dislike Aaron Carter, hate is a strong word but, gah! His face, his voice, his tendency to cry.
He came into rehearsal with flowers and wearing a suit…. I don’t want to make any speculations about him and Karina… but if so, Chelsea Handler totally called it.
Karina has a dress on with some kid of weird contraption back. He has nice rise and fall going on but stumbled a bit at some parts. He’s good but he has the same face every dance for the entire dance, which just can’t happen.
Len liked it; they had good connection, his best dance. Bruno likes it a lot as well. Carrie Ann loved it.
Scores, Carrie Ann: 8, Len: 9, Bruno: 8

Michael and Anna with the Waltz.
I like Anna, I really do, I prefer her over Chelsie and Lacey. Just saying. No more SYTYCD crossovers unless it’s Anya and Pasha.
The dance is not super but Michael just has the sweetest smile and when he looks at Anna you can totally see their connection so that’s sweet. She’s wearing a really really pretty dress.
Bruno did not love it, Carrie Ann asks Anna if her feet came off the ground during a certain move… Anna is contemplating her answer when Carrie Anna gives her a stern ‘Anna…’ Anna says no but Carrie Ann decides that it was a lift (her foot totally came off the ground, Anna can’t lie). Len says the other two suck at life and he loved it.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 6, Len: 8 (now that is love, alright), Bruno: 6

Kelly and Louis with the Jitterbug.
I’ve decided that I’m not particularly fond of the Jitterbug…or the Waltz, they could trade one in for either the Lindyhop or the Viennese Waltz? Not my night.
Kelly hurt her foot last week so we’ll see how that goes this week with the JITTERBUG, this aint no slow dance, my friend. Kelly is wearing sneakers. Hmmm, and they don’t match her outfit, which is bad. This is a slow-ish Jitterbug if you ask me and Kelly looks a bit lost at times. She nearly fell when they did the lift.
Carrie Ann says Kelly needs to stop worrying. Len says the dance was like a blueberry muffin without blueberries. Bruno says Kelly has to ignite the performance if she wants to stay in the competition. He says it was ‘beige’.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 7, Len: 6, Bruno: 7

Louie and Chelsie with the Jitterbug.
Chelsie just totally did the short + Uggs thing in rehearsal. And she just whacked Louie in the face with her arm. On to the dance, they stole Mýa and Dmitry’s gimmick from the Jive, Chelsie is wearing a cute dress. Not bad, very cute. He DROPPED Chelsie….she went BAM on her ass. Idiot, he didn’t even notice. Other than that it was cute though, and apparently they made out at the end but I didn’t really…see it, whatever. Len is conflicted. Bruno wants Louie to be precise and clean even though the dance is wild. Carrie Ann calls him out on dropping Chelsie.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 7, Len: 7, Bruno: 7

Samantha Harris is a total twat by the way, who hired this woman?

Joanna and Derek doing the Waltz.
Ah man, reminded of last week when Derek was sick and Joanna did the Argentine Tango with Maksim (nomnomnom) she tripped, but it was hot.
Derek has Skeletor eyebrows (what does that even mean?). He needs to fix this because… he’s the best male dancer of this lot and nobody can see it because they’re distracted by the two hairy caterpillars that decided to die on his face above his eyes.
Not totally fluid but very pretty and romantic. Bahahhaha, Derek just tried to slide her between his legs but she just got stuck in between, Joanna, you’re supposed to work to go through his legs, he’s not going to push you through with one arm, he’s not superman. He just kind of stepped over her instead of sliding her through. Nice ending move. Joanna’s sister looks just like her, funny.
Bruno says she was like watching a butterfly…blablablablabla (you know how he is). Carrie Ann says she was beautiful but she had a lot of hesitation. Len says that her footwork wasn’t that good but she did well and it was the best waltz of the night.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 8, Len: 9, Bruno: 9

Donny and Kym with the Jitterbug.
Kym is telling Donny to do ‘woowoo’ and look at her butt, Donny is cracking up (hey dude, you could have had a worse move assigned to you).
It’s a train song. Cute beginning, odd outfits though, haha. Kym lifts Donny (no joke). Kym has a bit too much makeup on, she look a bit… you know. Carrie Ann says that they were out of sync some times and Donny stumbled. Len liked it, they were entertaining. Bruno says that Donny can work a room and that it sometimes was like a steam engine (Donny) trying to keep up with a gleaming bullet train (Kym).
Scores: Carrie Ann: 8, Len: 8, Bruno: 8. Their lowest scores, yet, I think.

Now onto the Marathon Mambo, everybody dances and one by one they will be tapped out.
And we’re off, they all seem to have some sort of routine planned, except for Kelly and Louis who openly admitted that they were going freestyle (now THAT would scare me). Michael and Anne are the first to go. Joanna is doing a weird stiff walk over Derek. Louie and Chelsie are next to go. Lots of shimmying going on, Melissa and Mark are third to go. Derek does a weird move on Joanna that looks like she’s giving him head in the strangest position (it does!), Tom wonders what move that is. Kelly and Louis are next to go. Mark and Lacey now. Donny and Kym after, Donny makes sure to shimmywalk over Derek before he leaves the floor. Aaron and Karina next. Derek is acting like Joanna is his own personal rag doll to play with. Mýa and Dmitry are the last to be dragged off the dance floor and Derek and Joanna win (buh?). Derek does his weird oral sex move again; I really hope Joanna gave him crap for that. Carrie Anna claims it was Joanna’s spirit to win got her through.

Hmmm, I’d say Louie and Chelsie, Michael and Anna and Melissa and Mark will be in the bottom three, maybe Aaron will appear but he seems to have redeemed herself a bit. Though after last week it wouldn’t surprise me if America pulled a ‘Sabrina Bryan’ on me and cut Mýa and Dmitry.

My favorite dance tonight? Donny and Kym's Jitterbug. Hands down.