World Peace or Whirled Peas?

So I went through a few of my old things and came across an essay I wrote for my English class when I was about 15 years old I think. Oh my goodness, oh the hilarity. I know that you’re supposed to think that if you read things of yourself from years back (and I probably will laugh my butt off at my blog in five years) but HA. At least all of my words were spelled correct and my grammar wasn’t even as horrible as I would have thought. So here I have a darling little essay that I had to write within 45 minutes or so (I think) for English class. And I did it about world peace (or whirled peas, whatever floats your boat). Yes. Yes I wrote about world peace. I apparently was a pageant queen at 15 years old. Either that or I just watched a stupid movie about a) pageants, b) world peace or c) something with a super high moral message (think Crash, great movie but it makes your brain implode) because I was rocking the “I’m so grown” talk there.
Well here it is; my little piece of art. I added some lovely sarcastic comments (bolded so you can tell my sarcastic comments from my trying to save the world) because I couldn’t NOT mock myself(just a few though, small essay after all). Hello, mocking your former self is the sole reason that... well some people do some things, I don’t know, don’t ask me.

Ah world peace [*Snort*]. We hear it all the time on tv, big hopes and dreams for the future. Yet we also hear that it is impossible. Is it really? Some think that if we, as a world, work together, we can make world peace a reality [Oh man, I feel like Sandra Bullock during the question round.].
There are a lot of different reasons that people will go to war but there’s a solution for every single one of them. One of the most important one is communication. Lots of arguments start over a communication problem. What can solve this is better education, better equipment for the lesser fortunate countries. Another thing that is a big problem is food, lack of it often leads to riots.
If we educate people about growing their own food and help them by paying fair prices for products, they wouldn’t have to suffer. [Right Sherlock, nobody knew that yet.]
If we want a peaceful planet we have to work together to make that happen. We have to stop thinking solely about ourselves and start thinking and caring about others.
This isn’t just the government of the United Nations[This is a very random combination of organisations] that have to work to make this happen. The mentality of every single person on this planet has got to change. We need to stop arguing about petty things and start thinking about the bigger picture. It does pay off to be kind or to be ‘the bigger person’. One act of kindness can mean a lot, especially in a troublesome situation.
If we can’t all learn to play nice, there will always be some sort of trouble lurking around the corner. If it is trouble involving entire countries or a neighbourhood battle, it won’t help ‘the bigger picture’. If we can’t come to an agreement about this, we will forever see the pictures in the paper of people that have died in a war somewhere, military people, civilians and even children [What?]. We need to look at ourselves and ask if we really want that.

All the laughing aside, come on, how cute was I? Seriously now, this is adorable.

Being Butthurt

Ok so before you all go crazy thinking ‘oh my word, she’s touching the sensitive subject of coitus of the butt!’ no, I am not talking about any pain in your rear that may occur after that type of sexual practice. So be relieved, or not, whatever floats your boat.

What I am talking about is being upset about something asinine (see what I did there?) and then getting extremely pissy at whoever created the epic upset. I also like the way that the Urban Dictionary put it

An inappropriately strong negative emotional response from a perceived personal insult. Characterized by strong feelings of shame. Frequently associated with a cessation of communication and overt hostility towards the "aggressor."

I’ve encountered three forms of butthurt so far.
The Vocal Type: they will hound you and let you know that they are mad at you for whatever dumb reason. In my opinion, the best kind.

The Silent Type they will not tell you that they’re mad in any other way than the fact that they are not talking to you. You now have no idea why this person is mad and why they are being so hostile. If the person does it right they’re able to be subtle enough to be able to deny any signs of butthurt when you ask about it. This form annoys most people the most.

And then we have the type that I like to call The Dumbass Type. I like to call it this simply for the pun.
These types stay butthurt for the longest period of time. They will not tell you in any way that they are in fact experiencing rectal unpleasantness but they will tell everybody else, whether they want to hear about it or not. If they do it right (which they rarely do) you will not hear about this and blissfully unaware or the butthurt you’ve caused. But usually things will get back to you, sometimes because they’re dumb and sometimes because you have mutual friends that mock the butthurt and are nice enough to inform you.

What I have to say about all of this is, really? Really? Unless you’re below the age of 14 you should not be doing this, yo. It is very unattractive. Grow up, put on your big girl panties (with soft fluffy padding if the pain is so unbearable) and get on with your life because nobody cares.

If you really truly feel slighted I suggest that you fill out this form. Send it in to whoever caused the butthurt and this person will respond back to you in 6-8 weeks, maybe. There is a chance that you will realize while filling it in, that worrying about this, is a serious waste of your time. But if you send it in anyway the person who caused your butthurt will probably get a good laugh out of it all.



But in the end, if you still decide to be butthurt about mundane things, well, when you see my face, I hope it gives you hell. : )

Passing on the evil genes? No thanks.

Me and one of my friends were having a conversation about kids a while back on Skype. Why? I honestly can't remember. But we did.
She then mentioned that she would love a kiddo (preferably more than one.)

There I mentioned that I have no desire to reproduce in any future and she was shocked! And appalled!


I could nearly feel the virtual daggers she was sending me!


We argued for a while and because she was so insistent I started seeing her as some kind of superhero for babymaking.

Yes folks, that's a turkey-baster in her hand. Creative, no?

So there, in a moment of weakness I wondered about it all. Maybe I would change my mind if I really thought about it.
Of course I had to factor in that the kid would have my genes and the father would have to be a saint to counter those genes(and really, what saint would reproduce with me!)
This was my line of thought.


Yeah I don't think I'd do pregnancy well, to be honest.


I can handle screaming babies, but as a baby I cried all.the.time. I can't handle cries all the time. Seriously, what would I do with it? :S


Then I'd have to deal with a little Damian in the house who will scare the cat(s)and wreck havoc over us all. Evil toddlers might be funny in cartoons, they are not in real life.


And God help us all if this kid reaches its teen years. I'm not fond of teenagers to start with so being around one all the time probably won't make that any better.

So I had to make a choice, which option would be scarier? The wrath of the newly created superhero or the kid that will carry my evil genes?



Yeah, my baby would probably be able to kill the superhero.
I'll pass this time, sorry.

It all started with a panda...

So, today I had to go outside and do some grownup stuff (my spell check didn’t like the way I phrased things so offered to change it to ‘do some grownups’ no thanks), you know, like an adult!
And then when I came home I got the lovely message that a package had been delivered to our house while I was gone! (My friend from Northern Ireland told me she'd sent me a little gift last week).
I hopped up and down like a bunny on acid and ripped open the envelope like a kid on Christmas morning (or in my family, the second Christmas day after dinner).
In, there was, the greatest gift of all. A stuffed animal, but not just ANY stuffed animal, a RED PANDA.
If you don’t know what a red panda is, it’s only the cutest little buggar out there. It’s like a fox, or a cat, only not because it’s a panda, only not! He’s got the cutest little face too. I mean just look at that!

Come on man, it has EYEBROWS doesn’t get much cuter than that.

So here I am, with my panda, happy as happy can be.


But wait! There’s more! (ha!) Something heavy in the envelope! But what?!
I slide my hand in and pull out….


OH NO! The horror! The agony! The pain! The illiteracy!
Now that I got it as a (gag)gift, I have to read it right?
I guess I have no choice but to get out them dusty glasses out and read up.


I’m sure I will read many shocking things


And some serious things


I am sure I will read and read and read


And then realize WHAT I just read


And, it is clear that I will be amused.


And, last but not least, I will probably remain unimpressed.


Thank you for the red panda Maggie! <3

ÄÇÉÌÑÖÛÝ!

I have my accents back! I got this wonderful laptop from my father which only had one flaw, no accents. For a while I was ok, I googled whatever word I needed and copy pasted to go on my way. But the other day I figured I would have to find out how to make it work USA style. Let me tell you, doing it USA style? SUCKS. When I finally got a list of what you have to do for each letter I wanted to DIE. When I typed in the numbers to get a simple 'É', I felt like I was putting in a secret code for the government (ok, maybe not quite as dramatic).
So I went hunting, and found out that it’s hilariously easy to change your laptop to a European.
So, my dear laptop finally got its green card for my country, so to speak and can now type accents with ease.
Let me reflect on how great life is with accents.
I can now type:
Adéchiké!
Café
Björk
Fiancé(e)
Cliché
Amélie
Época
Naïve
Fräulein
Blasé
And that's just a fraction, just wait 'till I start blogging in French! (I most certainly will not)

ok fine, I use approximately one of these ‘words’ regularly but that’s not my point.
Yay for accents! (or what google tells me I should be calling them, 'diacritical marks', doesn't really have the same ring to it does it?)

SYTYCD Season 7, week 6, results

The results!

The opening dance is, Jazz or does it count as Broadway because it’s a Broadway song. It looks more Broadway-ey now. Someone who I’ve never heard of before choreographed this.
Oh my GOD Cat, yes we’re live, we KNOW.
Aww Denise Jefferson died. This is sad.

Our dancers are coming up, all five at once (and Billy in the audience).
Lauren is safe. Kent is safe, uh oh, there goes my little theory.
So it’ll be two out of these three: Adechike, Robert or Jose. I’m not really pleased with this.
Two dancers are dancing the Pas de Deux, gorgeous. They keep doing this really cool move where the girl is en pointe and he just spins her around.

Now, on with the results. Adechike, Robert and Jose back for the slaughter.
The Adechike/Jose Paso Doble still pisses me off, haha.
The one safe is… Adechike! Oh I like this result. He’s really grown in the past weeks so I think he deserves to go through.

So it’s Jose, Robert and Billy in the bottom three. Did I mention that I love Billy? I hope he goes through.]
Some person from the auditions that I’m supposed to remember is performing, he’s really good but I really don’t have a clue who he is.

It’s all star time!
Lauren and Neil’s turn. Their Jazz number. Only now there aren’t any bloody steps to dance on like last time, yes I’m still bitter about the stage change.

Apparently Russell is going on tour with some of the others, err, not impressed.

Robert is dancing first. Very nice.
now Jose, he’s reusing a song Dominic used for one of his solos. But you know what, he’s not as good as Dominic and neither is his choreography, so there we go.

So… Enrique Iglesias these days goes by one name? He thinks he’s like Madonna? Or Cher? No honey, you’re not. Well now I wonder if I should keep watching for Allison and Lauren but it’s just not worth it. I doubt I missed much.

It’s decision time. Nobody is going home this week; two people are leaving next week. Fuck off Nigel.

Well this is an anticlimax if I ever saw one. And it seems like we had some time left at the end or something because I think I just watched five minutes of the contestants' happy dance.

SYTYCD Season 7, week 6

We’re starting! For some reason I’m irrationally excited to see this episode. I really have no reason for this but I am. So lets savor the moment.

Ha, the video doesn’t agree with me because it just stopped right in the middle of the intros. Or maybe my video is a perv because it also stopped right in the middle of Lauren hoisting her leg up in the air. I guess we’ll never know.
Wait a second…. Where the hell is Billy! WTF is going on here?! Who the heck is sabotaging the damn stage?
Kenny Ortega is joining the judges today.

Man SYTYCD must have some damn voodoo up in its business because this injury business is getting ridiculous.

Lauren and Twitch are dancing hip hop.
Some kind of western theme.
Lauren really is too cute to be gangster, haha, but she did a good job.

Jose will be dancing with Allison.
A Sonya routine, yay!
I loved that! It was very different (though with obvious Sonya moments) but really nice and cute.

Robert and Lauren are dancing some Tasty Oreo Jazz.
Man Lauren is really getting to all of the boys isn’t she.
Oh a sexy sexy piece this is. Aaaaand Robert just licked her leg. That was just, wow, just wow.
I liked it aside from the leg licking which was just weird.
Robert still kind of reminds me of Mark, only better.
Adechike’s solo is up, I hate the song he’s dancing to, it will forever be the ‘Cancer Dance’ song.

Kent and Kathryn are dancing Jazz by Sonya. Two jazz routines right on top of each other? Who picked this lineup?
This is very different from Robert and Lauren’s routine so I guess it’s all right.
It’s funny because usually you can see the little moves Sonya always uses (shaking, type of lifts, etc.) but I think she left them out this time, either that or I just missed them. If anything it has more of a Mandy Moore vibe to it if I had to guess.

Robert’s solo is up, it was nice.

Now Lauren, very nice, I liked it!

Adechike’s turn to dance with an all star. He’s dancing hip hop with Comfort.
This was wonderful. Go Adechike, he’s rocking it!
Oh they’re feeling it, Adechike’s crying and right now Comfort’s hiding her face so I’m guessing tears on that end as well. Amazing that hip hop can give people such a reaction.

Jose’s turn to dance!
Oh I quite liked this actually, the best solo he’s done if you ask me.

Anddddd Kenttttt! His mom kind of reminds me of Sarah Palin? (sorry Kent’s mom)
Kent wins epic points for dancing to Boyz II Men, I loved it.

Lauren and Robert are dancing together now.
A Samba, woo, can’t wait.
It’s nicely done but I can see them having some troubles at some parts.

Adechike and Jose are dancing, but what? A Paso Doble. Erm. Excuse you? *cries*
I mean, I know it’ll probably be all right but I like my Paso Dobles with one of each gender.
Again with the bloody Trojan war music. Does sytycd have patent on them or something? That and Libertango.
Errr, I’m not a fan, though the ‘no shirt’ part is nice…
The Paso Doble high pants kill me.

Kent and Billy(or not) will be Stepping(OR NOT). Ha, Billy and Kent stepping together is like, no, just no. They are the totally wrong types for this dance, haha. Twitch is stepping in, interesting, haha.
Twitch knows his business. Kent wasn’t super strong but he worked it.

Ok my guess for the bottom three? Err, well Billy…. And… I guess maybe Jose, though I LOVED his contemporary. My guess is that Robert is safe this week and Adechike as well. So either Kent or Lauren? That doesn’t sound right though… Can’t we just have a bottom two?